Insecure Writer’s Support Group: My biggest Odyssey yet

Hey everybody! Fresh off the craziness of the A-Z challenge, Alex Cavanaugh hits us with the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. IWSG is an opportunity for blogging writers to share our frustrations and fears, and also to encourage fellow writers with stories about how we rose above them and triumphed.

I guess the story I have to tell this month is one of triumphing over my insecurities and finding a new batch of fears and nerves waiting for me. Back in February, I sent in applications for four different writing workshops, all across the USA. I’d slaved over the writing samples since late November of last year, I crossed my fingers and looked for falling stars to wish on. Clarion UCSD and Clarion West sent their regrets. Kij Johnson sent me a nice note saying that she was sorry she couldn’t take me for her two-week noveling workshop, as she had more great applicants this year than ever before.

For a month and a half, as I racked up my NaNoEdMo hours and dived into Camp Nanowrimo, there was nothing, and then: an email from the Odyssey workshop!

Was it another rejection? Was it great news? Was it an induction into the twilight world of the waiting list? (I’ve actually been on the Odyssey waiting list before, and got waited out.)

That first email was none of the above; it was an appeal for me to encourage one of my character references to start referencing! But I took it as a good sign, and in a few days more the character reference was sorted out, and I got the good-news email! I’ll be driving off to New Hampshire this summer.

So, I’m really excited about this, but also just a little insecure about if I’ll be able to hack it at Odyssey. An online friend of mine, Eileen from Speak Coffee to Me, went to Odyssey a few years back, and has told me that it was a great experience, but also very stressful, six weeks of nearly non-stop work on your writing, and that she had a huge ‘creative crash’ after the workshop was done. A lot of other testimonials I’ve found online back that up. The student conduct guidelines I had sign and mail in warn that the expected workload averages to 12 hours a day, seven days a week, and that those with health problems might do better not to commit to the Odyssey. The program director’s critiques are legendary for being devastating and constructive at the same time. Drop-outs due to excessive stress and pressure are not unknown. I’ll need to keep up some kinduv crazy pace of writing new stuff and revisions while I’m there.

Maybe I should be more worried about the fact that I’m not too worried. It won’t all be fun, but this is a great opportunity that I’ve been pushing hard to earn, and I’m convinced that if I give it 100%, I’ll make it through okay and be a much better writer once I’m finished with the workshop and recovered from the crash.

Another thing that I’m only a little insecure about is the trip there. I think I like the idea of driving all the way from Hamilton to Manchester, New Hampshire, though I’ve never done nearly as long a road trip by myself before. The price of driving in one day (counting the New York interstate tolls,) compares fairly well with airline ticket prices, and I’ll be able to pack more in the car than I’d be able to take on a plane. After all, I don’t think I’ve been away from home for six weeks since I was at university.

Still looking for a few letter Campers

First off, thanks to everybody who responded to my first call for Camp Nanowrimo writers for me to spotlight in the April A-Z challenge this year. I’ve already got lots of really cool interviews back.

But in going over my notes last night, I realized that I’m still missing anybody to include for the following letters:

A
I
L
V
X
Z

So if you’re going to be doing Camp Nanowrimo in April, and have a name, username, book, or blog starting with any of these letters, please leave a comment or gmail me at chriskelworth . Or if you know somebody who you think would be perfect for one of these spotlights, tell them to check out my blog!

IWSG: The Insecurity of waiting

It’s the first Wednesday in March, so time for the Insecure Writers’ Support Group. If you haven’t come across this before, it’s a regular monthly blogfest where writing bloggers share their insecurities or post something to reassure or inspire others.

At this point, what’s on my mind more than anything else is waiting. There’s a lot of the waiting game in being a writer, waiting to hear back from others what they think about your work. Waiting to hear from agents, from potential publishers, from magazines, from contest judges, from beta readers and other volunteer critiquers. I’ve sent the revised copy of “Won’t somebody think of the Children” to two dedicated readers from the critters.org critique workshop, and I’m waiting to hear back from both of them, waiting to hear from somebody at nanowrimo.org about a possible manuscript swap.

And more than anything else, I’m waiting to find out if I got into any summer workshops. I got my applications sent to four during February: Clarion at UCSD, Clarion West, Odyssey, and CSSF Novels. I’m probably not going to hear from anybody for another two weeks or so, and suspect that I’ll be waiting on one workshop until mid-April. Sigh.

But I’m doing what you have to do when you’re waiting; I’ve made my peace with the work I put in, that what I sent out was the best I could have done with the tools I had at the time, and I’m focusing on other things. Since it’s March, there’s plenty of editing to do!

Are you waiting to hear back from anybody about your writing?

I’m looking for a full alphabet of Camp Nano-ers to spotlight!

I know we’re not even into March yet, but I’m already looking ahead to April for a few things…

• I’ve signed up for the A-Z blogging challenge, for the third time.
• For the first time in six years or so, I won’t be writing a script in April for Script Frenzy
• And, for the first time EVER, Camp Nanowrimo is running an April session full of novelling AND script-writing goodness!

Putting the three of them together; I had a great time spotlighting some of the features of Script Frenzy last year for the A to Z challenge, so this year I’m going to make Camp Nano my topic. But I’m going to change it up a little, and I’m not going to fill up my alphabet with topics like C for Cabinmates or R for Rebel. Instead, I’d like to make as many posts as possible about my fellow campers! (It’s been a while since I’ve done a spotlight series, after all.)

So, if you’re going to be doing Camp Nano in April this year, and you’d like to volunteer for an interview or just to have me mention something about you during April, leave a comment here or contact me at chriskelworth at gmail dot com. I’ll try to slot you in based on your name, your username, or your novel title.

Whoo-hoo!

Insecure Writers’ Support Group: Drawing

Hey, it’s the first Wednesday of the month, so that means it’s time for the February 2013 edition of Insecure Writers’ Support Group. This time, I’m going to take the opportunity to talk about something that I’ve been learning even though I feel very insecure about it: drawing.

I’ve never felt confident about drawing or painting or much else in the visual arts. When I think of art class back in school, I remember lots of crazy conversations with my friends and classmates, but also a bit of dread as I took my assignments to the teacher to face grading and evaluation. Though I’ve found some satisfaction in doing fanart compositions over the years, those have always seemed very different from original artwork – they were all about finding something that already looked good, measuring and balancing it, as opposed to creating something from a pencil held in my own fingers.

But I was interested in the idea of being able to be good at art, at being able to actually do illustrations for my stories – if not something good enough that I’d want it to be a finished product, then at least being good enough at sketching that I could show an idea I had to another artist who could refine it and make it better. I’m a very visual thinker in a lot of ways, so it was frustrating not being able to express myself in that way as well as I could with words.

I was interested when my brother first mentioned the drawing book he’d gotten a copy of, ‘Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain’, and borrowed it when he gave me a chance to – and promptly did nothing with it, for months on end, until he asked for it back. Partly, I guess I was scared of trying and finding out that I was hopeless.

But I got the book back late last year, put starting it on my October to-do list, and actually felt excited and creative enough after the Nanowrimo kick-off party last year to finally dive in. And – well, I’m still not a good artist, I’d say, but I’m better at certain skills than I thought I was, and I’ve improved in just the few months that I’ve been working on it. If I keep working, I know I’ll keep improving, and who knows where I’ll end up?

I’ll share a few of my earliest drawings today – these are the ‘pre-instruction sketches’ that are supposed to demonstrate how much my skills improve, like the before picture. I guess I’ll be doing ‘after’ drawings once I finish the book. First, a self-portrait that I did in a mirror:

Overcoming Adversity: The Jungle Crocodile

Hey, everybody! As promised, I have returned with a ~500 word flash piece for Nick Wilford’s Overcoming Adversity blogfest. This was a fun challenge, and I wish all the best to Nick and his family.

Overcoming Adversity blogfest

Nasir saw an opportunity and he ran for it. It was just a moment, when only one of the corporals was in sight – far away, and facing in another direction. In a few second Nasir had slipped between two trees, his bare feet squishing in the muddy water, climbing through the undergrowth and hoping that he could find a clear trail before anybody came after him with a gun.

Nobody seemed to have followed him. He’d wondered about the other kids with him, knowing that he wasn’t the only one who longed to be free, or was tired of carrying a gun when they told him to carry one and pointing it where he was told to point it. Surely once he’d shown there was a chance to escape, somebody else would have taken it too…

But Nasir found a way to look on the bright side, as he hurried through the likeliest gap in the trees. So he was alone. That would make it even harder for the corporals and sergeants to track him.

He picked up the pace, and immediately tripped on a thick arching root, landing in the muddy water with a quiet splash. As he climbed up, he realized that he was not alone. A handful of paces away, the long triangular head of some fearsome beast rose out of a patch of deeper water – a triangle as long as Nasir’s thigh, with a fleshy nose close to him and two large beady eyes further back. Further back, a string of backbone spines broke the surface of the water, but the rest of the creature was invisible in the liquid murk.

Nasir froze for a second, and the beast drew closer to him. “I am not to be trifled with,” Nasir whispered to it. “I am a fierce warrior myself, and if you seek to prey on me, I shall drag you to that world beyond with me.”

The predator hesitated for a second, then lifted its nose out of the water, showing a row of dozens of sharp teeth, each one curving back in the direction of the eyes – pointing, Nasir was sure, to its unseen throat.

Boasting and bluffing hadn’t worked. Nasir ran. He ran faster from that reptilian monstrosity than he would have fled an army of a hundred thousand. He lost count of how many times he tripped, stumbled, fell, or ran into trees. Actually, he probably never started counting at all. But every time he got up and started running again.

And then, just as the pain in his side felt as if it would split open, he looked around. There was nothing following him in the water – no eyes, or nose, or teeth, or spines.

He wasn’t sure what direction to go to find shelter, but Nasir smiled. He had run from the soldiers who had taken him from his family, and he had outrun the swamp beast. For this moment, at least, he was free.

Thank you for reading, and check out some of the other participants!

It’s just me, I’m still here…

Okay, luckily, I didn’t run out of time or post something else before I remembered the Re-introduce myself blogfest.

So, let’s see… I’m not going to worry about finding something to tell you that you don’t know if you’ve been following the blog closely. That could drive me crazy.

• I love to write science fiction and fantasy.
• I’m a big fan of National Novel Writing Month, and in 2012 I stepped up as a Hamilton ML (local group leader for NaNoWriMo) for the first time.
• I’m applying to four great summer workshops in the US for 2013.
• I’ve almost finished the Holly Lisle ‘How to Revise your Novel’ course
• I collect all kinds of electronic gadgets and gizmos.
• I’ve written fanfic, made fanart and fanvids in the past, but haven’t made much time for any of that fandom stuff lately.
• I love to go to science-fiction conventions.
• I geek out about really obscure math stuff.

And my name is Chris Kelworth. It’s so nice to meet you again!

My Favourite Martian Blog Hop – Isabel Evans

Hey, everybody! I’m glad I found out about the My Favourite Martian Blog Hop in time to join. The rules say that you don’t have to limit yourself to martians, just your favorite alien from books, movies, television or other stories.

I was tempted to just name all the teenage aliens from the show ‘Roswell’, like Trisha did, but the rules said to pick one alien, so I thought about that a little. Considered picking Tess Harding, played by Emilie de Ravin, but I’m still so upset about her last few episodes on the show that I couldn’t agree with Kyle, who did call her his ‘Favorite Martian’ once.

Isabel’s plot arcs on the show weren’t always perfect either, but in general she was a good character who brought some awesome moments to the series. She was a determined young woman, and her bossiness showed in snippets of the ‘ordinary life’ that she clung to like charity drives and perfect Christmas plans for her family, as well as the secret debates with her brother and friends about what was the right thing to do about the next alien menace coming into their lives.

In some ways I think Isabel might have been the most openly vulnerable of the alien foursome on that show. She loved Max and Michael more than anything, like they were both brothers to her, even if she was only adopted with Max. It’d be hard to say whether Isabel or Liz were hit harder when they realized that Max had been taken prisoner by the FBI alien hunters. In the episode ‘Independence Day’, when Michael drunk foster father started getting abusive, Isabel tries to bring him into her own family, inviting him for dinner and family game night. She never mentions it out loud, but I thought Isabel hoped that Michael might get adopted by her parents too. That doesn’t happen, but it’s Isabel who comes up with the idea of getting Michael emancipated, and she was probably the one to talk her lawyer father into helping, though we don’t see that conversation.

Isabel’s also vulnerable through her love for her parents, who she has to keep so many secrets from for years. In the episode ‘Toy house’, their mother starts to suspect Max’s abilities when he saves her from an oil fire in the kitchen, and Isabel quarrels with Max, wanting to tell her everything, and she’s a little heart-broken even after Max finds a way to ‘fix’ the situation and put Mom’s doubts to rest. More than anything, she wanted to find a way to be honest with her mother, to actually show that side of herself. It isn’t until the last few episodes that Mom and Dad Evans find out about Isabel’s abilities, (by putting a spycam in her bedroom,) and though that starts another huge blow-out argument, in the end Isabel is relieved that the truth was finally told.

Moving on a little bit, one of the coolest things about Isabel was her unique power – the dream walk. In the original ‘Roswell High’ paperbacks the alien’s powers weren’t so distinctive, so they could all heal as well as Max does and all enter other people’s dreams, but the writers for the show introduced the notion that some of the alien abilities are more like natural talents. Isabel usually curls up in bed, touches a photo of the person she wants to orient on, and sort of slips into a trance or a sleep state of her own. She can see what that person is dreaming about, and either spy without generally being noticed, or interact with the dreamer.

Hopping on the ‘Be Inspired’ meme

Well, I finished Block Revision on ‘Children’ tonight, and to celebrate I’m going to take Ari’s sort-of-open-invite and join in the ‘Be Inspired’ meme to tell you a bit about the book!

1. What is the name of your book?

Won’t somebody think of the children? (Title might be subject to change, but I love it. )

2. Where did the idea for your book come from?

I’m not entirely sure. I was trying to come up with an original idea for Nanowrimo in October of 2009, and was noodling with doing something in dramatic science fiction set aboard a generation starship – not high action or adventure, just people living their lives in this very artificial and unusual (to us) setting, which they completely take for granted. The big breakthrough came when I had the notion of the parents-to-be who find out that their child is statistically likely to be alive when the ship gets where it’s going; I saw lots of ideas for how that could change their lives and the entire culture on board the ship. So things kinda got rolling in earnest from there.

3. In what genre would you classify your book?

Dramatic Science Fiction, as I said, and possibly New Adult as well.

I can’t even be punctually insecure…

Or – I was so excited to tell you guys about Dragon*Con that I forgot about Insecure Writer’s Support Group until today. So sorry about that.

What I’ve been feeling most insecure about lately is storytelling and narrative. I feel that I’ve grown more capable in my use of language over the past year or two, and I’ve never doubted my creativity and imagination. But I’ve also learned that you need to have an instinct for putting together a plot in a way that it’s satisfying to other readers, and I’m despairing a bit of being able to do that, worried that every premise I come up with is cliche, or that every story structure I try to write is broken.

And yet – I keep writing, keep working on the craft, because it’s what I do, and because I know that incredible things can happen if you just keep at it. I’m not sure if I came up with anything actually usable in Camp Nanowrimo this year, but I certainly had fun. And I’m back on Block Revision for ‘Save the Children’ now – and I’m certainly learning good things there, with the HTRYN course.

Are you insecure or secure lately?