Six Sentence Sunday: Chatterboxes opening


Confession – I forgot about Six Sentence Sunday last week until it was too late to make the official list, and instead of putting up an unofficial entry again, I just ignored it and put up a Campaigner Spotlight. But this week, I’m organized and ready!

This is near the beginning of my most recent draft of my speculative novel “Chatterboxes”:

What I remember most was the red laser light flashing in my eye. It was that kind of a club – somewhere in downtown Hamilton, doesn’t really matter where. Aside from lasers, there was the smoke machine, (so that the lasers could light up the smoke and stand out in high relief, never mind that everything else was fuzzed out,) and that kind of loud dance music that everybody loves to complain about because you can’t talk to anybody without yelling in their ears.

I don’t always complain. If you want to be able to talk to strangers in a comfortable atmosphere, with soft music and lights on the moderately dim side, (not to mention clean air,) then go and try to pick somebody up at a damn coffeehouse. On a good night, all of the music and the other distractions are something that I can just sail through, and maybe even borrow energy from, start to feel confident with the basic paradoxes of the singles scene.

I’m not sure if I love this passage, but it’s fun. It also definitely reminds me of writing on the first day of National Novel Writing Month!

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7 Responses to Six Sentence Sunday: Chatterboxes opening

  1. Nice. I love the description of the club. We’ve all been in one of those places. And I love that it’s set in Hamilton. (But I only count 5 sentences).

    I would love to participate in this, but I guess now I have to wait until next Sunday.

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    • Thanks! I guess I mistakenly counted two sentences for that really long run-off at the end of the first paragraph – so I’ve gone back and added one more sentence into the second.

      If you want to participate next weekend, I strongly recommend doing what I did – getting your post scheduled and signing up Saturday evening. Remembering to get something done by 9am Sunday morning is not the best plan, it turns out!

      Like

  2. Anne Holly says:

    Hamilton, Ontario? You know, that’s a city that begs for some speculative fiction. 😉

    Nice six.

    Like

  3. Nice Six and great descriptions….could easily picture the scene in my mind 🙂

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  4. Andrea S. Michaels says:

    I loved the second paragraph. Great voice, I’m intrigued! 🙂
    – andrea

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  5. I haven’t thought about fog machines with laser lights flashing around the dance floor in a long time, but you captured the image well here. I was going to do my first ever six sentence Sunday yesterday, but I got stuck out of town and away from the computer, so… I’m going to write it now and set it up to post next Sunday.

    Like

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