So, I was really pleased to come back from San Fran and find a new writing and books-themed Simpsons episode on my DVR – ‘The Book Job.’ While Homer, Bart, and friends collaborate to churn out a soulless best-seller ripoff, Lisa vows that she’s going to write a personal book that readers will connect with. Most of what she does, though, is procrastinate. It’s a pretty good list of ways to not ever get a book written, in fact:
- Swear to only write 2000 words, then stop ‘to pace yourself.’
- Don’t write until you have music that inspires you playing.
- Organize your CD collection.
- Play online Boggle.
- Take your laptop to a coffee shop.
- Set up your Wi-Fi ‘in case you need to do research.’
- Buy something out of a sense of obligation to the coffee shop.
- Brag about how much you love being a writer.
- Build a toy log house out of pencils.
- Watch kitty videos on Youtube.
- Build a model cathedral or castle out of pencils.
- Stare out the window.
- Rub your finger against the window.
- Clean the window.
- Clean the outside of the window with a makeshift platform lowered from the roof.
- Watch the complete series of ‘Friday night lights’ on DVD.
Happy Thanksgiving to everybody in the USA!
The Kelworth Files 