Weekend Writing Warriors – Gotta have that look (revised) 3


Welcome friends, followers, and Weekend Writing Warriors!

Continuing to share the new revision of “Gotta Have That Look,” about teenagers and genetic injections. I’ve shared some from an early draft with Six Sentence Sunday, but this is mostly a new plot

wewriwa

Snippet 1 Snippet 2

Jimmy went, trying to ignore the way his arms tingled. Circles of girls gossiped and an Acro-dancing foursome practiced in the way, so Jimmy walked the long way around the courtyard, and smiled. Diane sketched the statue with a wooden pencil. She still looked perfect; shoulder length brown hair, curves that took his breath away without looking tacky. Jimmy shot one look back to Bryan and Stephanie; he could only see Bryan’s forehead and eyes towering over shorter people, urging him on.

So he walked over to the grape bush. “Hi, Diane. Great weather today, isn’t it?”

Visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors at http://www.wewriwa.com/.

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7 Responses to Weekend Writing Warriors – Gotta have that look (revised) 3

  1. Millie Burns says:

    He’s all shy…cute.

    Like

  2. He’s probably hating himself in the next breath for talking about the weather LOL. Excellent excerpt!

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  3. Nice snippet, good friends to encourage him – and what Veronica said about opening with a weather comment. Well done.

    Like

  4. Well, if you can’t think of anything else there’s always the weather!

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  5. Ack! The weather pickup line. He must be so intimidated by her presence! Nice 8! 🙂

    Like

  6. Nice snippet! Jimmy’s personality really stands out and feels real. Enjoyed your 8!

    Like

  7. Beth Rhodes says:

    I like the portrayal of his shyness. Makes Jimmy more relateable, as I’m sure we’ve all been there.

    Like

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