Weekend Writing Warriors – Return to Civilization 1

Welcome friends, followers, and Weekend Writing Warriors!

I’m going to start snippets from a new story this week, one that I just submitted to a magazine a few weeks ago. These eight sentences are from the start, and I don’t think they need any set-up. (I hope.)


Andy pressed the red button and the stars popped back into existence around his ship, with Sol visible as a distant yellow marble. It had taken him twelve years of solitary wandering, but he’d found a jackpot: a beautiful planet perfect for human settlement, already growing great food, with uranium and silver deposits ready to mine. The bounty would be enough to set him up for life on any planet he liked. He might even go back to Jackpot once it was through its pioneer years–even if they wouldn’t let him call it Jackpot.

First things first; he had to stay awake through check-in. The radar display on the flight console showed two blips. One was drifting near the edge of the display; the other was quite a bit closer, accelerating vaguely in his direction.

He turned the radio on.

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11 Responses to Weekend Writing Warriors – Return to Civilization 1

  1. Love the detail in this snippet! Great job!


  2. Gemma Parkes says:

    The planet jackpot! There’s a thought! Lovely writing.


  3. Interesting beginning, I’d definitely keep reading. I’m curious about the two blips…so, an excellent excerpt!


  4. ldsmith1818 says:

    ooh great set up! I’m excited to read next week’s! 🙂


  5. caitlinstern says:

    I sense the one ‘accelerating vaguely in his direction’ might cause him to have more problems than just staying awake.

    Can’t imagine living on a planet called Jackpot, but it’s a name I can imagine wanting to give such a find!


  6. As a start, it sucks you in.


  7. Millie Burns says:

    I’m ready for next week’s serving…you have me curious.


  8. ED Martin says:

    I love that he wants to call “his” new planet Jackpot!


  9. chellecordero says:

    He sounds almost aloof except for the potential of a “jackpot” and yet alert to the possibilities of danger. Good snippet.


  10. I like how he calls it Jackpot, that could be a nice name for a planet, it sounds lucky.


  11. An intriguing start there.


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