Welcome friends, followers, and Weekend Writing Warriors!
Well, I’m in Toronto this weekend for Fan Expo, and the power of scheduled posts brings you this snippet from last Monday! I’m continuing on with a snippet from a short story draft I wrote back in June, mostly after I got back from the Young Gunns workshop in Kansas. It was based on a story idea I shared back in the A-Z April challenge: Magic Milkshakes.
Track season was over, so she didn’t need to worry about sticking to her peak hurdling weight–for a little while.
“Thanks Mom.” She inhaled another hit of chocolate and cream.
“So, any big plans for tonight?”
“Just hitting the books.”
“You didn’t hear from Matt?”
“Actually, not that it’s any of your business, but yes, Matt called. He invited me to come along to some crazy party at one of his friends’ house.”
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Like your 8. Like the attitude. I can definitely tell she is a teenager.
Juneta at Writer’s Gambit
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Need more snippets. Need more snippets.
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Oh boy…I think it definitely is her mom’s business to know about her daughter’s life and who she’s hanging out with. And her mom just made her a shake and she immediately gives her ‘tude. Brat.
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Feels like a conversation all of our teenage selves have had with our parents at one time or another. Nice 8.
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Very realistic conversation, interesting little snippet today!
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Magic Milkshake? I’d settle for carb-free!
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Hey, your mom gave you chocolate, you could be a little more civil! I know, teens are angsty about everything, it’s the hormones. 😉
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Sounds fishy to me. Must of been some fight or deception.
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2014/08/weekend-writing-warriors-83114.html
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This kind of conversation has a ring of familiarity to it 🙂
Just reading some of the comments about attitude, it occurred to me that some inkling of tone here might be a good idea. Those same words could be snarky and brattish, but could just as easily be comfortable good-natured banter depending on tone and the kind of relationship between the two. Of course, maybe you already established some of that in the story, which wouldn’t be seen in such short snippets.
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