Weekend Writing Warriors – Gotta have that look (revised) 8

August 25, 2013

Welcome friends, followers, and Weekend Writing Warriors!

Continuing to share the new revision of “Gotta Have That Look,” about teenagers and genetic injections. I’ve shared some from an early draft with Six Sentence Sunday, but this is mostly a new plot. I’m going to skip over some classroom stuff. I’m going to skip ahead a little; Jimmy’s friends, Bryan and Stephanie, are trying to help him figure out what kind of ‘look’ would impress Diane.

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Yikes, sorry for the Fan Expo weekend technical difficulties. Snippet posted 5:40 pm…

“I’m not going to let you give up so soon.”

“I’m out of options, man!” Jimmy waved dramatically across the rec-room floor. “Unless you’ve got a brainwave.”

“I just might. Diane hasn’t kept her toes out of the dating pool lately.”

Stephanie sat down on the blue sofa next to Bryan. “So?”

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Gotta have that look (revised) 7

August 18, 2013

Welcome friends, followers, and Weekend Writing Warriors!

Continuing to share the new revision of “Gotta Have That Look,” about teenagers and genetic injections. I’ve shared some from an early draft with Six Sentence Sunday, but this is mostly a new plot. I’m going to skip over some classroom stuff. I’m going to skip ahead a little; Jimmy’s friends, Bryan and Stephanie, are trying to help him figure out what kind of ‘look’ would impress Diane.

wewriwa

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“Last month, she went to a bunch of Diskball dances with Murry Hanson, didn’t she?”

“Just two, on the ninth and the twenty-fourth,” Bryan said.

“Murry had dark skin then,” Stephanie added, and Jimmy began typing. “His build was very muscular, with dark brown hair, though he cut it between dances. A little taller than average, and he moved the skin-tone up by two shades the last week of the month. Maybe that’s why Diane didn’t go near him again.” Stephanie caught Bryan’s eyes. “So I notice things about guys.”

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Gotta have that look (revised) 6

August 11, 2013

Welcome friends, followers, and Weekend Writing Warriors!

Continuing to share the new revision of “Gotta Have That Look,” about teenagers and genetic injections. I’ve shared some from an early draft with Six Sentence Sunday, but this is mostly a new plot. I’m going to skip over some classroom stuff. Last time, Jimmy talked Stephanie, his best friend’s girlfriend, into talking to Diane, the girl he likes. Here, Stephanie brings back the report on her scouting expedition.

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“I tried.” One of Stephanie’s hands came up to her chest as if she were swearing hope to die. “She didn’t want to talk about guys and what she likes. Maybe it’s too personal. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay, Stephanie. Thanks. I’ll get out of the way and let you guys enjoy your evening.”

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Gotta have that look (revised) 5

August 4, 2013

Welcome friends, followers, and Weekend Writing Warriors!

Continuing to share the new revision of “Gotta Have That Look,” about teenagers and genetic injections. I’ve shared some from an early draft with Six Sentence Sunday, but this is mostly a new plot. I’m going to skip over some classroom stuff. Here, Jimmy is talking to his best friend’s new girlfriend.

wewriwa

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Jimmy turned to Stephanie. “I wanted to ask you a favour–It’s about Diane.”

“Okay I guess.”

“Well, Diane is my picture of the perfect girl, but I have no idea who her perfect guy would look like. And I can’t ask her, and then turn into what she says…”

“But it’s okay if I ask her, because I’m a girl, even though we’re not really friends?”

“Well, I don’t know her friends well enough to ask them.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Gotta have that look (revised) 4

July 28, 2013

Welcome friends, followers, and Weekend Writing Warriors!

Continuing to share the new revision of “Gotta Have That Look,” about teenagers and genetic injections. I’ve shared some from an early draft with Six Sentence Sunday, but this is mostly a new plot. There isn’t much about the novum of teenagers changing their looks in this snip; Jimmy has gone over to talk to his dream girl, Diane.

wewriwa

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Diane lifted one eyebrow. “Morning, Jimmy. What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to go with a movie to me–tonight.”

“Thanks so much for asking, but no, I don’t think so.”

“Okay . . . Something else maybe, later this week?”

“No, thanks–do you mind?” She waved the pencil at her sketch pad. “I’m trying to get this finished before first period.”

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Gotta have that look (revised) 3

July 21, 2013

Welcome friends, followers, and Weekend Writing Warriors!

Continuing to share the new revision of “Gotta Have That Look,” about teenagers and genetic injections. I’ve shared some from an early draft with Six Sentence Sunday, but this is mostly a new plot

wewriwa

Snippet 1 Snippet 2

Jimmy went, trying to ignore the way his arms tingled. Circles of girls gossiped and an Acro-dancing foursome practiced in the way, so Jimmy walked the long way around the courtyard, and smiled. Diane sketched the statue with a wooden pencil. She still looked perfect; shoulder length brown hair, curves that took his breath away without looking tacky. Jimmy shot one look back to Bryan and Stephanie; he could only see Bryan’s forehead and eyes towering over shorter people, urging him on.

So he walked over to the grape bush. “Hi, Diane. Great weather today, isn’t it?”

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Gotta have that look (revised) 2

July 14, 2013

Welcome friends, followers, and Weekend Writing Warriors!

Continuing to share the new revision of “Gotta Have That Look,” about teenagers and genetic injections. I’ve shared some from an early draft with Six Sentence Sunday, but this is mostly a new plot

wewriwa

Snippet 1

“The guy at Transform-U gave me a new formula with overnight action,” Bryan said. “That’s an exaggeration, but I’m not complaining.”

Stephanie’s voice dropped to a playful purr. “I’ll give you some overnight action, will that shut you up?” Then she cleared her throat and turned to Jimmy. “How’s it going?”

Bryan nodded to Jimmy, and scanned the courtyard from his artificially enhanced altitude. “She’s sitting on the bench by the green grape bush, not talking to anybody, just doodling in her sketch pad; go talk to her!”

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Gotta have that look Revision 1

July 7, 2013

Forgive me, friends and followers, for I have lapsed. It has been two weeks since my last post.

What can I say, Odyssey has been crazy. A fun kind of crazy, in places, but definitely crazy. I’ve decided to stop sharing from “The Aurigae Express” and start with the beginning of a story I had critiqued this past week; the new revision of “Gotta Have That Look.” I hope you enjoy it. It’s about teenagers and genetic injections. I’ve shared some from an early draft with Six Sentence Sunday, but this is mostly a new plot

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At eight thirty on Monday morning, the teenagers of Hanford, California gathered in the courtyard square of Hanford High to see who had changed most over the weekend. Jimmy swept the crowd hoping to catch a glimpse of Diane, hoping she hadn’t changed a bit.

“Freckles!” Stephanie exclaimed. She wrapped her arms around Bryan and planted kisses on his cheeks. “How did you get them so quickly? You went in for your shots a day and a half ago. Do you feel sore?” She backed away a little and traced one finger over Bryan’s skin, staying away from the red spots.

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Six Sentence Sunday – Gotta have that look 5

July 22, 2012

Thanks very much to everybody who commented last week! Yes, it’s all about sci-fi cosmetics, genetic tech to modify bodies for the sake of looking good.

First Six. Second Six. Third Six. Fourth Six.

It’s been nearly two years since I’ve been to Transform-U. They don’t let you make an appointment until you’re thirteen, so nearly everybody goes to check it out after their birthday, though you can only get a few treatments when you’re that young. I tried growing my hair out blond, having a smaller nose, and the perfect tan treatment. None of it really seemed worth paying for on a longer-term basis, so I just sort of went back to more or less the way I was born.

The sales rep who was available for a walk-in five minutes after I got there was a tall man, and his hair was starting to grow grey – I thought that was natural, but wasn’t sure about the rest of him. “So, Jimmy, what can I do for you?”

I love comments and will return cookies for each one! 😀


Six Sentence Sunday – Gotta have that Look 2

June 24, 2012

First Six are here.

Thanks for your comments. Jimmy and Bryan were talking about Bryan’s new freckles.

“Stephanie thought that they looked good last night, but unfortunately, her parents were waiting up, so she didn’t get any overnight action from me.” Bryan fell in step next to me and chuckled. “I can’t wait to find her and see what she thinks now!”

“That’s great,” I said, thought to be honest, it was a little too much information. Bry’s a good guy at heart, though, and he always makes an effort to include me even when I’m being a social freak, so I make a special effort to always be polite if nothing else.

“And… we came through for you, buddy,” Bry continued, dropping an arm down around my shoulders, though the gesture was awkward with the twenty centimeters of height currently seperating us.

As usual, all feedback is gratefully appreciated!


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