Precis of ‘Big Bow Wow’

This synopsis of the lyrics of ‘Big Bow Wow’ contains none of the sailing jargon or figures of speech of the original, as far as I can tell.

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We left Yarmouth with the wind blowing hard. Everything on the ship looked great. The captain came out on deck, poked all around, and finally found something that we hadn’t done to order us to do.

Then he rushes off back to his cabin, calls for the steward, and immediately starts on the good booze because it was so cold and wet up on deck. Meanwhile, he won’t let any of the sailors have any watered-down rum and keeps swearing at us and saying that we’re no good.

So we talk to each other about how much fun it would be to push the captain overboard and let the sharks eat him.